Monday, January 01, 2007

Days Go By

It's been nearly a year since I began this blog. While that's not much for some, it's quite significant to me, if only because I've found a place to dump thousands of the billions of thoughts constantly swirling around in my head.

When I woke up this morning I watched and read some news and wondered if it was bad to feel like this, 1/1/07, were just like any other day. I still have the same thoughts, same goals, and same worries as I did yesterday. What makes this different? Should I feel as though I'm standing at the edge of something? Anything?

In two days, I have an appointment with the top sports medicine doctor in the city. He is supposed to help me with my knees (yes, knees, plural. In addition to my right knee being swollen and now painful, my left knee has followed suit since my Christmas Day run). I have had it, I am ready for help. I'm overwhelmingly motivated to run right now, and I can't. I think (and also hope) this doctor will scope both knees. I've had the xrays and MRI's, it's time to do something more drastic. I need to run. I have a half marathon scheduled in March, a full in May, another half later in the summer and probably another full in the fall. I may be injured, but I'm not losing hope. I definitely need this doctor to understand that.

Over the past two days, I have eaten enough to support a family of five. Or twelve. I credit this to football games and my grandmother requesting I bake her some more of my perfect cookies. Obviously, I could say no to neither. Sandwiches, pizza, cookies, pizza, taco salad and pizza do not make for a "hey, look at me, I've lost seven pounds" attitude, so I sure am glad the weekend is over. Not-so-secretly, though, I am glad it was here because I am reassured that I was always right about two things: cheese melted on anything makes it better and, putting bacon on pizza is culinary genius. However, I know and am okay with the fact that this has come to an end, because feeling the way my pants fit sans seven pounds, well, that's almost as good as bacon and, in my case, lasts a heck of a lot longer.

In just four short days, my sister will, once again, have to say goodbye to her husband and send him off to the danger of the Middle East. I can't even begin to express how this makes me feel. He's been home less than two months. I don't care that the President says "there's a job to do" and then proceeds to dump thousands of troops back into a war without a clear plan. I don't care that an evil dictator was just hanged. I'm glad he was captured, yes. It doesn't make up for the fact that men and women are leaving their families for "undetermined length deployments," some for a third or fourth time in two years. It doesn't change that death tolls have reached a milestone, again. I cannot write eloquently about this. It is not something I have understood from the very beginning, and I doubt I ever will. I was raised and believe leaders, elected leaders, should be respected and supported. That is what makes a country strong. Now, that's changed. It is, perhaps, what angers me most.

In about sixteen days, my sister will relocate to the West coast to finish school and be closer to family while her husband is away. Sure, I could go into all the reasons why this is a good, positive thing and the only good thing about the entire situation but really, all I can think about is how she and I will don mouse ears and recreate scenes from our childhood at Disneyland this summer.

Over the past, oh let's say 358 days or so, I've had the privilege of "meeting" some fantastic people. It's you, fellow bloggers and readers. You have opened my mind to new perspectives, new stories, new parts of the country and the world and your lives. I feel as though it's no accident that you and I have stumbled upon one another and the bits and pieces of this last year we've shared and the connections we've had are far more than I ever expected. Plus, you're super cool.

So it is okay, after all, to feel like today is any other day. Our hopes, our prayers, our laughs, our connections and our struggles are what make it so. That's the significance. Without those, I suppose, we wouldn't mind the passing of the days anyway. We might not even notice at all.


Backofpack said...

I think it's fine to feel like today is just another day. I like to think my dreams and goals are an ongoing process, that they aren't tied to a single turn of the calendar. Of course, in reality, today is not like any other because it is my birthday eve!

I'm with you on the troops leaving. I have not had family there, but have had many friends there, I've seen the wear and tear on the families here at home, I've seen the struggle to re-join daily life when the soldiers return. I haven't (thankfully) experienced the losses on a personal level. But as the mother of two young men, my heart tears everytime I read the newspaper. I will be thinking of your brother-in-law and your sister and their baby.

I will wish you a Happy 2007 - I hope your knees improve and you train and race to your heart's desire!

Sizzle said...

i am sad to hear about your brother-in-law's deployment. i'm so sorry that is happening.

i am, however, glad that we've stumbled upon one another. happy new year.

:) sizz

adam said...

Thanks for dumping your thoughts here! It was fun to read about jr's trials, tribulations and successes for 2006. Good luck with the snow. The way the weatherman carry on, you'd think CO won't be uncovered until august! happy new year!!

I agree with you about this mistaken war, but I have to admit it is in a totally different way. You see, I don't believe you should trust and respect our leaders until they have earned it. In fact I am not sure you should ever really trust them. And I can guarantee you that if the american people would just quit watching 'survivor' and start paying attention our leaders wouldn't be able to start wars, unless we actually were threatened. I am sorry for the rant . . . but how many lives will it take?

Dawn said...

I know I've enjoyed reading about your trials and tribs.

Sorry about your knees, but scoping is common and I'm sure you'll be rip running soon enough.

Happy New Year!

justrun said...

BoP- Happy Birthday!
Thanks for all you share here and I appreciate the thoughts.

Sizz- Thanks.
I'm glad, too. :)

Adam- Rant away. Like I said, it's not how I feel anymore.

Dawn- thanks! I enjoy your blog so much, you are a great writer!

justacoolcat said...

I have to say, for me, the ost awesome thing about this post is the fact you have a grandma tag.

Happy New Year!

Danielle said...

People put a lot of pressure on NYE and the new year and I think it's fine to think it's any other day. A change can happen at any time you deem it to be the day to make the change, so why bother with the oh it's a new year new time thing? I hated the fact that the gym got so busy early in the year and then died again....all the new years resolutions...and hey, so what if you gained a few, get back on track and you're drop it again.