Six Miles

Had some nice weather relief over the weekend. Never being one to let a nice day get away, I went out for six miles on Saturday. It was nice, but I struggled a bit through the last two miles. I felt like my pace and heart rate were all over the place and when I checked the handy Garmin, I was right.

It's sort of a bummer that I've lost some cardio fitness over the last month, but what people keep telling me (and what I need to keep telling myself) is that I'll bouce back fast. I'm not sure about that, but I'm going to go with it.

My knee injury, which really now, in recovery, is my entire leg was pretty cooperative. I felt a little stiff the first mile or so but really seemed to loosen up and actually feel better at the end than when I'd started. I imagine, though there's some suffering to be had, that movement is actually better than none. I just have to concentrate so much more now than I used to. Not only have I had to alter the schedule (a LOT) but through PT I've actually had to retrain my muscles on how to "fire" or rather, in what order to fire. It is strange to reteach your body, it's a stubborn student; it thinks it already knows everything.

I'm loyal to the PT, at least 95% loyal anyway. The sight of me getting out of bed twenty minutes early in the morning to do stretches and strength training is not something of which I'm terribly proud. I have to do certain exercises in front of a mirror to ensure that I'm not compensating by leaning and the fact that I've only fallen twice and haven't injured myself at all at 4:30 in the morning is nothing short of a miracle. I don't have balance (read: grace) normally. At 4:30 a.m., there's no question.

It made for a good day, though, feeling like I'd done something by getting six miles in. Unfortunately, I have to give myself recovery days, which I've not had to do much of in the past (other than rest days). Yesterday, recovery translated into walking the dog and watching football. I also had a good share of food but I needed to restore glycogen. (FYI: There is a lot of glycogen in Cheddar Bacon Ranch dip.)

It's actually supposed to be above freezing for the better part of this week so it's going to be tough to keep the running reigned in. I'm hoping to get another six in midweek and then again on the weekend. I'll be best buddies with the elliptical on the other days- yay. Tough as they were, and as hard as it is to admit I struggled, those were a nice six miles. It's the most relaxed I've been in weeks.

A little right, right now

Yesterday, I finally got to get out and run on an ice and snow-free road for the first time all year. It was also a few degrees above 50 (F) which never hurts. Right around 50 with sun and no wind is what I consider perfect running conditions. It also helps if your body feels good. I did the two-a-day workout again yesterday but took it easy at lunch and saved myself for the run.

Boy, was it worth it.

I had to talk myself into a slower pace than normal because though I want to go all out, I don't want to ruin all the physical therapy and weight lifting work I've done. At least not yet. It was good to soak up some sun and just take in whatever was around me, though. I ran a route I've run at least a hundred times before but I noticed some things I hadn't before, too. The way the sun hit a certain window on the back of a house. The way the trail curved up the hill, the shadows of the tall trees framing the path. It was all very peaceful, like after all this up and down, I'd finally been allowed a calm, comfortable few miles.

The other day, Bre posted about a little ritual she has of reminding herself of what she's thankful for at the end of the day. I thought of this on my run yesterday and was nearly overwhelmed at the list I could make, and I'm someone who usually is grateful on a daily basis. A friend of mine, in fact, told me just the other day that if someone gave me a box of crap for my birthday, I'd dig through it looking for the Pony. Mostly, that's true. But on this run yesterday, I was reminded of just how many ponies I really do have.

Sometimes I can get so caught up in things not going as planned or even as hoped. I lose sight of all that I've accomplished because I'm already moving on to what's next. I start acting like things that happen as well as things I make happen are just pieces of a puzzle when, really, I think they are the puzzle. I catch myself in thoughts like will I ever do this or that when really, if I were to look back on the years, I'm already doing what I used to wonder about. It's not the dreams that aren't coming true, it's me constantly changing them that's the trouble. I think there's a balance there, though. I will always want better, want more, but I am reminded to take the time to want what I've got, too. Maybe, if we take those moments and take an inventory of what we really have, we are better suited for what's to come. Don't stop dreaming, of course, but also, stop long enough to realize that those dreams might be right now.

Because I am running, a little

Today, while blabbing incessantly to someone who was polite enough to listen, I realized I've not really written about running for a while. Well, in short, it's because I can't. Well, couldn't. And now, can only do it on a "limited basis" which is a royal pain in the you-know-what! It gives me an attitude, too because whatever, he's just a surgeon who specializes in sports medicine. And knees. And is the "best in the city." And works with professional athletes. So what could he possibly know, right?

But that's okay, because he is actually doctor number five and surgeon number three that I've seen about my knee, well, issues. The first two, err, four couldn't even put a word to it. I got no diagnosis from any and either "just give it time" or "have you thought about quitting running?" as advice. My answers: ummm, no and UMMMM, NO, respectively. I had (a) given it enough time (like, say, most of 2006) and (b) you're asking me to stop running, have you no soul, man?

So finally, behind door #5, we had a winner. We have a diagnosis (chondromalacia- common in distance runners and especially, in women). And this guy, he's willing to "make a plan" and "keep me doing what I love to do." Hearing those words just about made me cry with joy. Thank goodness SOMEONE finally understands!

I am now the proud and more so, thankful participant in a 4-6 week physical therapy plan and limiting my running to once a week. Yes, it sucks, but if it will help, I will follow the rules. Also, me and the elliptical machine? We're BFF. And ever, and ever. The physical therapist is showing me all kinds of new ways to build muscles and loosen tendons and ligaments so the knee cap stays right on track, literally.

I know it sounds crazy, but working on getting this better and seeing results and feeling better than I've felt in a long time is, so far, the best thing to happen this year. And sitting here typing it I know it must present as incredibly boring and not really much about running after all. But take heart, it was either this or me talking about a friend that just got engaged to a guy she's been dating for a while now. It'll be marriage #2 for both and while I do adore them and am happy for them, there's, you know, that part of me that's saying what the heck, you were both only single for a total of 83 seconds?!

So yeah, I'm in physical therapy. The End.