Monday, July 31, 2006

I Love Her Even if She Doesn't Love Classic Rock

My best friend is coming for a visit in four weeks and my mind is racing. What will we talk about? There's so much. What will we do? There's so little time.

We met in fifth grade and have been friends ever since. The Air Force kept her family moving for over a decade but through it all, we managed to sneak in the visits (mostly on her part), the emails (mostly on my part) and the phone calls (mostly on her part, when her family lived in England and would call and forget about the nine hour time difference and the phone would ring at our house at 5:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning. My mom loved that).

Two years ago, I was in her wedding. Now, it's her husband that has kept her in far flung corners; or rather, his education. Though we may be miles apart, picking up where we left off has always been our specialty.

The strange thing about our friendship is that we're not the traditional best friends. We don't like the same television shows or the same shoes. We don't scream and jump up and down when we find out Aerosmith or Bon Jovi is coming to town (hush, you know you've done it) because we don't really have the same music tastes. Our tastes, in fact, are opposite on several fronts. While I consider us both to be spiritual people, she is much more forward with her spirituality. She is a Christian and a good one and not just because she should be but because that is truly how she was made. It's what she honestly feels whereas I feel more like I could keep mostly to myself and be perfectly content with the fate of my soul. She's tall and thin and doesn't think twice about self-image. I am five foot six and have a mental block that doesn't allow me to consistently accept the size of my jeans. She is annoyed easily and affectionately argumentative and I? Well, I'd just rather have a drink and relax, sans the talking.

We're different, but in the best ways. We're different the way the mountains are to the sea: without one, you cannot truly know the value of the other. And what makes it work is that we accept these differences in one another. I never expect her to be someone she's not, and she has never required anything of me. I'm just allowed to be the person I am, with imperfection and without the least bit of grace most of the time. I don't know why this is, either. Maybe it's because we've known one another for so long or because we've been thousands of miles apart for most of our relationship. I couldn't tell you. What I do know is that it works, and it's good. What more could I ask for, really?

So she's going to be here in four weeks and I am filled with anticipation for everything the visit has in store. I've got thirty days to stock up on some wine, for the late-night chats. I've got thirty days to get the guest room ready for it's favorite visitor. I've got only thirty days to lose eight pounds and appear four inches taller than I actually am. It's gonna be so great!

9 comments:

Bre said...

May I recommend stacked heel, peep toe, platform wedges for the extra 4 inches? I have a pair myself and find them deee-lish.

It seems to me that the best friends that I have are those who aren't the same as I am, but rather opposite me enough that we compliment one another perfectly.

Dawn said...

Gosh, if I waited for another Black, Christian lady who liked rock and alternative music, hanging out in coffee shops, and healthy eatin'...I wouldn't have any friends! :)

Here's to differences...they shake things up a bit.

backofpack said...

I have a friend like that - we live far away from each other and maybe see each other every five years, but it's like the conversation just left off five minutes ago. You are gonna have so much fun!

Sizzle said...

how fun! best friend visits are the best. :)

puerileuwaite said...

"I Love Her Even if She Doesn't Love Classic Rock" - is this one of those Zen statements that one has to deeply contemplate? Such as, "What is the sound of one-hand clapping?". Don't mind me. Just wondering ...

Runner Girl FL said...

Hurray for best friends coming to visit!!

Hurray for best friends that you don’t have to talk to everyday to know where you stand and then when you do catch up it is like a flood gate opening and cannot be stopped!!

I have one of these too!!

GirlGoyle said...

Maybe what makes the best friend is the ability to reconcile such great differences. My best friend didn't speak a lick of english when I met her. Now she lives in the South and speaks with a twang. We are like mirror images at the country fair - she's tall and beautiful and I'm short and rounder. She loves to shop and is dying to glam me up. I let her play because it's her. There are only a few people that you will accept harsh criticism from and she is the only one. Tough love sometimes but I know it's not meant to hurt. I think you said it best with the Mountain and the Sea...that's what we are. She's the mountain...I the sea and we salsa dance!

justacoolcat said...

Yay! Best friend visits rock. I hope you are taking her to a Skynard concert.

Neil said...

Theres nothing more special than old friends.