Thursday, June 08, 2006

What I really want is a clean floor

I want someone else to clean my house.

There, I said it.

It's pretentious, I know, but as I walked through the door today and for the billionth time asked myself where does this mess come from when no one is ever here?, I was seriously considering it. I don't know how a person barely home enough to sleep six hours and shower can leave the remnants of a tornado behind. I hate the thought of house cleaning but since I can't actually justify the cost of someone else doing it, I suffer through it. Wah, wah, wah.

As I scrubbed the toilet, I began thinking about what it might be like if we placed personal ads for housekeepers.

WANTED: SWF seeking reliable housekeeper for LTR. Must love dogs but even more, love cleaning up the spots they leave behind. Must not be afraid of commitment, especially when vacuuming around the edges. Must have a love for life and all the hospital corners and lemon fresh toilets it entails. I want to gaze into your eyes and know you've Pledged the coffee table better than it's ever been before. If this sounds like you, write soon so we can begin our life of eating off the floor together!

I just know my housekeeper is out there somewhere, waiting for me!

8 comments:

Ginger Breadman said...

That's hilarious. I go through phases of embarrassment about my kitchen floor and my bathrooms. After a while, though, I decide my life is much too busy, and I walk right past the mess, day in and day out. Just think - if you had that housekeeper - who knows what kind of dirty tracks they might leave behind . . .

GirlGoyle said...

I had to break down and get one. I couldn't take it anymore. I just didn't have the 4+ hours a weekend it took to reorganize everything to my very anal liking. So, I budget for it. She comes only twice a month and she's a Godsend. Without her I'd be insane and someone would most likely be very bruised. Though obviously lately I've been looking at those corners and they just aren't 100%. No one will ever do it as well as you would. AFter all, it's not their house!

Sizzle said...

i have a friend who recently started making more money at her job and one of the first things she did was get a once twice a month housekeeper. she was horrible about dusting and cleaning the bathroom. now i can go over to her house without a fear of having to pee in her dirty bathroom.

lucky me!

Runner Girl FL said...

I decided having someone mow my lawn was better than someone to clean my house. At least the house is cool. :) I use the time I have for the yard on projects that are more fun.

justacoolcat said...

A few years ago I had roomies and I was working all the time so I hired a housekeeper to come once a week and twice one week a month.

It was awesome.

Bre said...

my parents have a housecleaner who comes once every two weeks. My mother however doesn't want her to think we're slobs - so she cleans up for the cleaning lady.

Dagny said...

My aunt swears by her housekeeper. She also keeps trying to give me the woman's phone number. Do you think she's trying to tell me something? Oh, and thanks for reminding me that I need to vacuum up cat hair once again.

jackt said...

In some backward countries that's called a wife. *cough!* *korea* *cough!*