Turning on the other side of me

Okay, so I'm not a pro at the whole relaxation thing.

It's true. I put too much on my plate and I want to be the best at just about everything and maybe even more so, I want to be everything. Overachieving is no stranger to me. There are rarely paths chosen that don't have purpose. I like my means to get to an end. This is not bragging, this is admitting a fault.

This is the reason I have to get away sometimes.

It's sort of like going for a good run or sitting on the patio with a drink, but more of an extreme. When I schedule time away, the only purpose is to not have a purpose. I need to get away and get out of my head for a while. I need to tap into the certain parts of me that are pushed aside to work, work out and get the job done.

I think a lot of people understand this. The part they have trouble with is that I don't mind doing it all alone. I don't mind walking down a street alone or reading my own map. I don't mind having a drink alone or making friends with strangers alone; this is how I've met some of the most incredible people I know.

I don't know what makes me okay with it. I don't know the point in time when I decided that I didn't need someone with me in order to experience something. Granted, some things only get better when you can share it with another human being, but it doesn't mean that you should forego that experience altogether. Imagine what you'd be missing.

Traveling, whether it's just up the road or across the country, can be freeing. It's one of the only ways I know to get some perspective. To slow down. I don't have to deal with any deadlines or expectations. No one's asking for a presentation at the last minute and there are no "database emergencies." I don't have a clock or a schedule, just the rising and setting of the sun. I can be in the moment without having to try. When I can find a little time to get away, I think I am the most natural version of me.

One of my favorite quotes is: "I see my path, but I don't know where it leads. Not knowing where I'm going is what inspires me to travel it."*

So when this week is over and all the charity events have wrapped up, the presentation is given, the birthday parties are thrown and the beast-like test has been taken, I will be more than happy leave it all behind for a few days. Not because I don't like the work and not because I don't have fun doing it, but rather, because there's another side to me that is only on when everything else is off.


*For the life of me, I don't know who this quote belongs to. If someone does, let me know and I'll give credit where it's due. UPDATE: Quote is from one Rosalia de Castro. Thank you Ginger Breadman.