Friday, February 03, 2006

A Few Requests

Due to a little run of first-date BAD luck lately, I have a few requests to the guys out there.

When dating or wanting to date a woman:

1. Please don't assume I'm desperate. Recently I've actually heard this line: "Come on, I'm the best thing you've got going right now anyway, right?"

2. Don't call me 'young lady', ever. Seriously, are you my grandfather?

3. Don't flirt with the waitress on our first date.

4. Don't drink enough to sink a ship on our first date and then slur my name and laugh at yourself. So incredibly not funny.

5. Along the lines of request #1, please don't assume that without you, I'd be sitting at home watching movies with my dog/cat. Do assume that, in some cases, this is better than being out with you. Afterall, the dog/cat doesn't try to grope me when he's three sheets to the wind.

6. Don't insult me for being 26. Saying I'm "too young to understand" doesn't make me want you more!

7. Don't belittle my job because you don't understand it. Guys, no matter how much a woman may love or hate hate her current occupation, she's there by choice and telling her she's made the wrong choice on the first date is NOT a turn on.

8. Finally, possibly the most important of all, don't say a word about my weight. Fine, I'm not the size 2 you want, that's ok. I am, however, a damn good size 8 and suggesting our next date be at the gym is just wrong. It makes me want to eat two meals, order a whole bottle of wine and stick you with the check when I "go to the restroom" but really leave the restaurant.

Good luck to all those dating this weekend!

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