Wednesday, May 16, 2007

So...

...you know how you might have once done the online dating thing, and then like a month later you quit because you never had time to check email? Then, you went out with a few people and made some friends but never really dated anyone. Then, you really quit because you decided dating should not have to cost you money, at least not right now.

But even though you quit, the site keeps sending email to your Yahoo account because, apparently, they don't care that you quit and they think that by sending you profiles of all men within a 50 mile radius is somehow going to lure you back in. And, that you're going to pay something like $30 to communicate with people when, clearly, that is $30 you could be saving to spend on vacation.

But then, they send the emails anyway and because you're curious and bored and, well, because you're you, you open the email and look at your "matches" because hey, AT LEAST YOU KNOW THEY'RE OUT THERE. And then, one day when you're doing this curious thing, you scan down the page and bam! you see the husband of your neighbor. And you think to yourself "hmmm, that's strange" and you wonder if they're separated or something. But then, no, you see them outside together and all is normal. Then, you strike up a conversation and still, nothing out of the ordinary is revealed.

So then, because you don't know what to do, you wrestle about it in your mind: Should I say anything? It's not my business, and all those kinds of thoughts. And really, you come to no conclusion because how is that even possible? Then, as if that weren't enough, you lose all faith in online dating "matching" because dang, really? They really thought you and your married neighbor were a match? What the heck?

And then, not knowing what else to do, you go out with friends for $20 All-You-Can-Eat Crab Leg Night because what remedies this kind of strife better than seafood? And, you also have a beer.




18 comments:

Backofpack said...

So, the nice side of me thinks maybe his profile was just left over from before he got married or something and they haven't cleared him out. The not-so-nice side of me screams "he's a slime bucket!"

I have no idea whether you should mention it or not. That is what we call "on the horns of a moral dilemma". Maybe you should just casually mention that you have a blog...drop the address...

Nicole said...

I had the same thoughts as BOP! But, whatever the case is who weird and awkward all at the same time.

BTW - I hope to catch up on email this week and write my questions but life has been insane.

Bre said...

There is nothing better than Seafood and Beer to pick a girl up. And now (curse you!) it's all I want to eat tonight!

Online dating, quite frankly, freaks me out. In essence, I suppose it's not much different than blogging - you read what people put out on the internet, get to know them, and either keep in touch or write them off... but it just feels...weird to me. Like that's not how it's supposed to happen! Plus, the amount of creeps on the internet is far larger than the amount of creeps at my neighborhood bar.

brandy said...

Wowzers. (You can tell I'm shocked when I pull that out). That would be so weird seeing someone you knew in the online dating circle! I'm glad you handled it like I would- with alcohol and food. I'm not going to lie, it's 9am here and I don't even LIKE seafood and I said 'yum!'. It's going to be a weird day...

runliarun said...

To tell or not to tell. If you do, you put yourself in the middle, and that is a precarious position. It really depends on whether you can handle it. But personally I would probably not tell. Mostly because we should strive to influence other people's lives for the good, and the good here is debatable, and I have no way to assess the consequences of this one act of mine, and no way to control them.

Or so I think.

sue said...

That's just so... WRONG. I'd hope it was what BOP said, but still... wouldn't you think he'd have gone in and removed his name after he married, if that were the case and he WASN'T a slime bucket. yah. Wow.

justacoolcat said...

I'm thinking someone is playing a mean trick on him or they are swingers. From what I've heard married people don't use pictures.

I hope the seafood made everything better.

justrun said...

Michelle- I'm leaning towards slime. They've lived there for two years and, I think, married for 3.

Nicole- Yeah, it's too weird. I'll likely keep my mouth shut, though.
I'll be around until Sunday to check email.

Bre- And it was GOOD!
Yeah, I'm not all about the online thing, either. But I had to try because I can rarely not try something once I know it exists. Finding your neighbor's husband's ad, though, is entirely new territory for me!

Brandy- I knew someone wouldn't like seafood, but I'm glad you understand the need for it and the beer. :)

Lia- Indeed. Life can be fun like that.

Sue- Yeah. It is ucky!

JACC- That could be. I hope so, just for the sake of them.

afuntanilla said...

wow. that IS freaky.... it would make a good book, i think. u?

Sizzle said...

what an ass. he doesn't even try to hide it by withholding his photo? ugh! see?! this is why i am glad i don't date.

beer and going out with friends is so much better!

singleton said...

Ewwwwww! And if caught, he'll explain it all away as a virtual fantasy.....

Dawn said...

Can you print it out and leave it on their porch or something?

Ugg, I dunno...but I'd wanna know if I were the wife.

appletini said...

Wow! That is so horrible for your neighbor. What do you do in a sitaution like that?!

GirlGoyle said...

Hey people are weird. You should go check and see if she is on it too. You never know. It could be that he's just looking to make friends?? Ok...I don't know. I was trying find a way to give him the benefit of the doubt. But at this point, doesn't he know that you know? I would assume that he gets the same "matches" of the 50mile radius. I say look both ways before you cross the street.

Beth said...

If you can see him as a match on the online dating site, can he see you? Because that would be sooo incredibly awkward if he knew that you knew.

justrun said...

I haven't had a profile on the site since last year. I think they just keep sending the "matches" no matter what. Part of their tricky advertising, I think.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I think you made the right choice.

Danielle said...

Wow...I think I would find a way to say something. I'm tired of all the married men that have hit on me when I've been online and the married ones looking to cheat if you just read some things for entertainment...it gives me no faith in men and marriage...Not that women don't cheat as well...I get a kick out of the happily married men out there trying to cheat...I had one last night I was chatting on a site with (let me just say lavalife is fun for entertainment and you don't have to pay money to chat if they contact you!) that was talking about how great and honest he was, but I read his profile and he's attached, then he's giving me all these excuses about it, like they are more friends than anything, all I said was then end it before you talk to others and try to cheat!! Ughh...I know if I was her, I'd want to know.