Monday, December 18, 2006

Tall, Tall Trees

You know, it never ceases to amaze me when you get to have these little "epiphany" type moments at the most random times. Really, it's just incredible that we get to grow and progress enough from time to time so that we can really see the purpose or value in a moment.

My moment, just the other day, was completely unexpected- as they often say the best ones are. I was reading Michelle's blog and this post. To most, it would seem like any other post. We had a storm, a power outage, a run, etc. What's extraordinary about that, right? Admittedly, while I always enjoy Michelle's posts (really, her ability to find just the right mix of enthusiasm and laid-back is incredibly admirable), I thought the same. It's good to hear the perspective of a storm and outage like that from someone who's in it, rather than the news but that's it.

Until I read this part:
Today as I was walking the dog, I took a good look at our trees and decided that I had underestimated their height. I'd say they range from 75 to 125 feet. I also counted - three in the front garden, ten in the backyard. Of these, there are probably eight that I cannot fit my arms around. The middle one in the front is a skinny, woodpecker drilled thing that is mostly dead. Eric and a neighbor have grand plans to take it down on their own. It's probably an okay plan because it is one of the shorter ones. I guess we'll find out next summer.

This is where my "moment" occurred. Big, almost dead tree removal? Epiphany? Wait... what?

Yeah, I know. But stay with me, it all sort of flooded into my head. I pictured the trees in my mind. I pictured this "almost dead" tree in a front yard, in front of a house. I pictured the front windows, a driveway, the street in front of the house. I pictured the family that runs (ha, pun sort of intended) in and out of that house every day. I pictured the hustle and the rushing around, and the quiet moments, too. Not necessarily of Michelle's family, but just of a family. Lives running in and out of the house, past the old, almost dead tree. And then, when she says "Eric and a neighbor have grand plans to take it down on their own. It's probably an okay plan because it's one of the shorter ones. I guess we'll find out next summer." Just like that, so easy.

"I guess we'll find out next summer."

And that's where it happened, and something clicked in my brain. There's a feeling there, something I can't quite point out. I can't explain it. But, at the same time, I want it. I want that part of life where you have a big huge tree in the yard that has to come down and it has to happen next summer and somehow you're just "eh, it'll happen... whatever, no big deal." Because now, in my current state of mind, I would be something more along the lines of "tree? Old? Dead? Has to come down? When? How? You? You're going to remove it? Isn't that dangerous? Won't it be difficult? And when is there time for it? And what and how and when and you, mere mortal man and tree, huge ten-ton tree? HOW?!" Relaxed, don't you think?

Wanna know what I think? I think I'm a little nuts. I think my brain has to slow the heck down for five seconds and take some time to realize I don't have to figure out the entire world of tree removal (or anything else that's going on in my little reality) RIGHTTHISVERYSECOND, ORELSE!! Because that feeling of nonchalant, no worries, comfortable right where you are, dealing with life as it comes to you sounds a whole lot better. And, the best part is, I'm totally capable of that. A little more so every day.


Backofpack said...

Wow - I had no idea my post would spur an epiphany! Believe me, when the day comes for the tree to come down, I'll be worried about danger. I might have to leave for the afternoon so I don't have to worry. I will also say that I have great faith in Eric - he's a handyman extrodinaire. He can pretty much make any project work out - I don't know how he does it, but it always comes out right.

I can be a real worrier - I'm the Mom that cried when my young boys went on the big, wooden roller coaster at the fair, and just this past Thanksgiving had to go into the kitchen to wait while the guys carried my little sister and her motorized wheelchair up a steep set of stairs. I absolutely could not watch. But I've also learned that things usually work out, and even when they don't I can weather it.

Okay, I got long and philisophical on you. I'm glad my post gave you a new perspective - and thanks for the kind words about my writing!

GirlGoyle said...

OK...I'm so with you - I'd be worrying about it too. And how almost dead is it that it needs to be removed? And will it be missed if removed? And will the house look strange without it? And where is it g oing to land - street, yard or roof? and on...and on...and on....

Sizzle said...

i was just having that same kind of thought yesterday!

are we sharing wavelengths? ;)

Ginger Breadman said...

Everything always works itself out in life - one way or another. Time goes on and you live life, so you learn to grow and change and adapt.

e.b. said...

The hardest part for me is learning that everything does work itself out, eventually. Worrying and stress never help those things. Based on the past, I can see that rationally. That it has worked out and that the anxiety was for nothing. But then, I think, "when will the "luck" run out and when do things stop just working out." And the stress begins all over again.