Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Nerds Have Scandal Too

NOTE: This story did not happen in my current office!

There's a story, of a wicked lady, who worked in a land of very lovely cubes.

The wicked lady, we'll call her Brenda, is generally a bad fit amongst all the other residents of Cubeland. Brenda's motto is Talk All the Time, Even When It's Not Appropriate. Due to this motto, Brenda's neighbors, even those on the other side of the building, know all her business.

Years ago, Brenda married a well-to-do man, we'll call him Chuck, who owned a car dealership. He built Brenda a beautiful home, bought her beautiful clothing and jewelry and even paid her credit card bill without ever actually looking at it. He should have looked at the bill. A mere three months after swearing to love and honor him forever, Brenda was unfaithful to her husband and managed to charge dinners, hotel rooms and even an airline ticket to her credit card for three more months without Chuck ever noticing.

Well, Chuck was finally tipped off when Brenda claimed to be going on a "business trip" and while Brenda was on the "trip" Chuck ran into several of her coworkers at lunch.

"Do you all miss Brenda," he innocently asked?

"Yes, she must be having fun with her sister," they responded.

"Sister?"

Chuck, being bright but not altogether sharp, finally caught on.

Brenda and Chuck subsequently divorced. About a year later, after she was certain anyone on her floor could recite her dramatic story of Love Gone Wrong from memory, Brenda started something new. Donnie, we'll call this one, was her newest "victim." (They aren't necessarily victims as they have to know they're making bad decisions on some level, but you can't help but feel bad for a guy who makes a bad decision but never dreams that it would be broadcast to the entire world- but that's Brenda.) Donnie, also a local business owner, apparently became smitten with Brenda very early on. He bought her gifts, sent her flowers and even called her during the day just to say he was thinking of her. Could it be, a true love story? A story of a changed woman? Maybe.

Except there was this one thing about Donnie that made this impossible. He was married. There is no way Brenda and Donnie's love could be the true, wonderful, happily-ever-after thing she made it out to be, because Donnie already had a wife. "Oh, that's just wrong," you say. That's wrong? What about this:

...

...

wait for it...

The wife? The woman to whom Donnie was married? His supposed happily-ever-after? Yeah, her. Well, she worked with Brenda.

That's right, the wife, let's call her Kristy, was a fellow resident of Cubeland. Kristy was smart, put together, kind and fun. And obviously, not privy to a huge part of her husband's life. Until one day, Brenda, the Queen of Brazen, brought in a memento for her desk. A photo of her new boyfriend. The boyfriend she'd openly admitted was married but was "planning on leaving his wife."

Well, Donnie never got around to actually doing that. Luckily, in saving herself, her children and her reputation of actually possessing a brain, Kristy beat him to it. Way to go, Kristy. Someone had to have a brain in this story eventually.

So now, Kristy works in another department and is happily married to a man she can trust. Chuck, also remarried, has two kids and a wife who stays home. Brenda has recently married Donnie and, as she tells it, -because you knew she would- a fairly detailed prenuptual agreement will accompany them on their journey of love. Fairytale endings are just the best, you know?

And you thought IT people were boring.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Holy Crap!! I do not feel bad for Brenda. And what makes her think that Donnie won't just "date" another resident of cubeland now that he has her?

justacoolcat said...

Nice scandal. I hate to reinforce a stereotype, but my IT department is pretty boring.

GirlGoyle said...

For a second there I thought I was catching up on my missed episodes of my favorite soap opera but no...this is real! When does Brenda find theh time to do her IT thing?

Ginger Breadman said...

Dang, that was an amazing read - I'm still trying to figure out who belongs to (or shall I say - doesn't belong to) who. Reality is - messes like that happen. How people choose to clean up those kinds of messes speaks volumes about the kind of people they really are.

skinnylittleblonde said...

Soap operas & reality tv cannot compare to true stories.
Poor Brenda, stuck w/ a pre-nup
& poor Donnie, stuck w/ Brenda.
LOL

Sizzle said...

the soap opera of IT Cubeland! woah!

why are people so hideous to one another?

Dawn said...

Wowsers! It's like As The World Turns over there!

Anonymous said...

I too just heard a terrible cheating story. Not as close to yours....but really why are there such ugly people out there?

backofpack said...

Might I just say, I love the way you spin a story! If you ever write a book (I think you should and hope you do) please let me know so I can read it. You have a remarkable way with words.

Too bad it wasn't fiction.

Nicole said...

Oh my!
Makes dating seem not so bad.

Anonymous said...

Bits and bytes of sordid love affairs! How thrilling! How tragic!

Brenda 2.0 doesn’t seem all that different.

singleton said...

ahhhh, but what goes around, comes around.... and this story isn't finished!
Never ever land is never forever land!
Keep us posted on the Opera!