Friday, October 13, 2006

I'm So Vain

(Not to be confused with blogger JustACoolCat who is also so vain, but much more stylish than I.)

This time last year, I had to renew my driver's license. The one I held before was the best I.D. photo I'd ever had. It was taken the day I turned twenty-one and you could see the excitement all over that photo. I don't know what key to the future I thought I was getting that day, but the pay off was a decent photo on my I.D., so very hard to come by.

When I renewed my license last year, the woman at the counter was mean. She screeched out "next!" and the flashbulb was going off before I even had warning. I knew it was going to be bad and when my new license arrived in the mail a couple weeks later, well, bad would be putting it kindly. I had a half smile, half open eyes and, quite possibly, seven chins. Awful. I mean, if I were a missing person and anyone attempted to look for me using this identification photo, they would be in search of a 40 year old woman on drugs toting around a quart of Jim Beam.

So I carried this I.D. for the last year and each and every time I've had to hand it to someone, I've cringed. I've thought, over and over, about excuses I could use to get a new one. Could I "lose" it? No, they store the photo. Could I move? No, they just make you put a sticker with your new address on the back. Maybe I should change my name? As if I don't have enough "funny stories" on dates these days. The other day, it hit me. I no longer have a vision restriction! The information on my license is incorrect! Guess I need a new one!

So yesterday, I hoofed it over to the D.M.V. and stood in a remarkably short line. When I got to the counter, I told the woman (a much nicer one) my situation. "Oh," she said, "all you need to do is have your doctor put a sticker on the back saying you're no longer visually impaired. Or, you can pay $15 and renew it."

Best $15 I've ever spent.


skinnylittleblonde said...

LOL....too funny!
My mother always said it pays to have a good picture ID. She says smile 'big & friendly because if you ever get pulled over for speeding, you want the officer to see a friendly face.'
15 bucks for a new ID, may save you a 112 speeding ticket one day! LOL!

Bre said...

Haha, how lucky! Mine expires this coming summer and I cannot wait! The creepy old man who took my picture was flirting with me, and I have a look of sheer terror on my face.

justacoolcat said...

This post scares me for several reasons. Mainly, I renewed my license this year. My last picture was so good I looked Hollywood and people would tell me as much, then look at me again and look and the license again obviously wondering if I could really be the same person.

My new pic I look like a crazy surfer, or as the last person who carded me said "Well, you look like you're having fun, or something"

Congrats on your retake being good.

Anonymous said...

LOL - I say scan and post the old & new pictures so we can see the new and improved you!

Celina said...

I also hate my licence pic, but am too lazy/cheap to get a new one. It's really not THAT bad, just that I was fatter and had tiny eyebrows that year! I had the perfect excuse for a new one 2 years ago (New last name), but just kept putting it off. Now, the thing expires next summer, and we'll be moving (probably have to get a new one in our new state), so I'll just keep it a little longer. What I really wish is that I could use my student ID pic (taken this summer)! I actually had brushed hair and makeup for that one!
It's hilarious that we women worry about these things--I've never heard a guy talk about needing a new pic for his ID!

Robb said...

I don't ever remembering the need to flash my ID. Maybe, it's because I'm an old man now. Oh well. I just had to renew my Driver's too and had a hard time to root the thing out of my wallet...couldn't find it anywhere.

backofpack said...

I'm not sure I've ever seen a good drivers licence photo...of anyone! Mine always look like I'm laughing - way too big smile, eyes are wild, and I've got the seven chin thing too. Maybe we're related!

Dawn said...

Conversation at school the other day:

16 year old: OMG! I just took my driver's license picture and it's horrid!

Another teacher: All driver's license pictures are bad.

Me: no they're not, mine is super cute, I'll show it to you.

And I did. And they agreed.

Nicole said...

I'm jealous. I had a horrible picture on my IL driver's license. Maybe I should get lasix.

Thanks for the commet - sorry to hear about your injury. I'll be running for us both!

singleton said...

Well now that I'm about a dozen years older than the "bad" picture they keep letting me renew by mail, it doesn't look so awful! Enjoy the new smile!

Anonymous said...

That's hysterical!! I understand!!

GirlGoyle said...

hahahaha!!! Too funny. Tho I think those machines are secretly set up to make us all look like fellons just in case we eventually end up on America's Most Wanted.

Sister Buckle said...

Man! They store your photo? That's so mean. In Brisbane you file up to a Polaroid camera and you sit and wait while they laminate your card. If you have your eyes closed at all they call you up to have another photo.

So if you lose your license, you go back and get your photo taken again. People dodgy that they've lost it all the time in the hope of getting a photo where they look like Angelina Jolie.

But you still end up looking crap most of the time.