Monday, September 18, 2006

Just Another Wannabe



Somewhere in the last year or so, I've stopped using phrases like "when this happens, then I'll do that" or "wait for _____ and then _____ will be easier." It just doesn't make sense any more. Sure, there are limitations- like the bank account and time, just to name a couple- but overall, I find myself no longer creating conditions around my life.

I think part of this is because I've accepted that being a dreamer is always going to be who I am. Not the head-in-the-clouds, unrealistic dreamer, but I will always want some part of my life to be challenging. I know I'll always struggle (things like furthering education, dating and knee injuries come to mind) but I also know that I won't stop working toward more.

At first, I questioned myself. Am I unsatisfiable? Am I impossible to please?

No.

I'm happy. Thrilled, in fact. There's so much I feel blessed to have and be that putting it into words feels nearly impossible. But there's still a need for more. I think what I had to realize is that happiness does not equal static. It's not an anchor, it's a good wind.

Somewhere along the line, I had taught myself that guilt was related to wanting more. But I just don't find myself believing that anymore. Now, I feel like I owe it to myself. And to sound ridiculously cliche, I owe it to everyone else, too- the world, really. It's not wrong to want more. If I'm not fulfilling my potential in the best way I can, that is what I'm doing wrong.

Being a wannabe is a good thing.

5 comments:

Sizzle said...

totally! i like the way you think. :)

justacoolcat said...

" If I'm not fulfilling my potential in the best way I can, that is what I'm doing wrong"

Preach on sister, preach on.

justrun said...

Sizzle- Sometimes, I do too. Ha.

JACC- I know, huh? One white robe and a pulpit short of it, right?

GirlGoyle said...

If you stopped wanting, dreaming and desiring you'd be a wall flower. Happyness is reaching goals and then setting new ones. Life is about attaining goals and striving for new ones. Without outlook on life we'd be dead. So, as Stephen Tyler puts in "Dream oooon!!"

Josh said...

I 'wannabe' on that boat!

In the words of Steve Prefontaine:

"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift."

In this case the 'gift' is life.