Cute Saves All

It's not her fault, really. I come and go as I please and she has to stay in, bask in the sun, eat and drink at her leisure and listen to the radio.

All. Day. Long.

So when the smartest dumb dog to ever live decides curtains taste better than rawhide, can you blame her? She's got a hard life on the sofa, ya'll.

Her entire life has been like this. She was rescued from sickness and eventual death by a sucker and hasn't looked back since. She lives in a constant state of 70 degrees, has the undying entertainment of the neighbor's cat on the patio and, lucky girl, everyone in the world is her BFF! Just watch how she runs up to them as if she hasn't seen them in ages. "Oh, dahling," she might say, as she jumps up perfectly to crotch level, " so fantastic to see you. Shall we scratch our asses on the carpet together now?" Her popularity astounds me. Through her I now know what it was like for the cutest girl in school. She could do no wrong, even when she did.

Luckily, she redeems herself sometimes. For instance, she's psychic. She knows someone's coming to the door three hours before they actually do. Hey, there's barking to prove it! She can also tell time. Like last year when it was time to "fall back", she knew better. It was dinner time somewhere. No fooling this one! And finally, her most redeeming quality of all, she is a steward of the environment. Through her extreme dedication and diligence, we now know that we are not recycling enough. Turns out, there are things in the trash can that can still be eaten, used as toys, or just plain look good strewn out on the carpet. Who knew?

If anything, though, she's consistent. Genius even. She has never needed a bit of training. I, on the other hand, am another story. I've got a lot to learn.